09 Mar Beloved Child

My home parish hosted the annual archdiocese event for confession today. After all these years, it is still one of my favourite events.

Many quotes stood out to me today as I went to confession:

“God never tires of forgiving you”.

“How do you think God sees you? Ask Him.”

“You are loved as you are now.“

These three quotes struck my core the most because of its message that I am loved by God. It boggles my mind so much because the concept that I am loved by God is so hard to grasp.

But yet, I am.

I once heard that it isn’t God that gets tired of forgiving us, but rather, it is us that gets tired of asking for His forgiveness. Woah.

I was in tears when the priest told me how God never tires of forgiving me; no matter how many times I fall. The priest talked about how it is a battle that we face everyday, but God will never leave us alone. He is always by our side.

The question, “how do you think God sees you?” has been popping up for me so much in the past few weeks. From my spiritual director, to the Abbot from the abbey last weekend, and now, from the priest in the confessional today, it has been a reoccurring message.

God clearly wants to talk about this.

I am scared, my friends. Quite honestly, I’m not too sure how God sees me. I know that I am His beloved child. But still, I don’t know what that means.

In this case, I will never know until I ask Him myself.

The last message that hit home for me today was how God loves me as I am now.

I have spent many years of my life trying to perfect who I think I should be. How I would feel so much better about myself if I were this or I were that.

But God, who is all-knowing and good, loves who I am today. Not the person I was yesterday or the person that I will be, but who I am now.

Lord, thank You so much for loving me as I am. But also loving me too much to leave me this way. I ask that for the next 40 days, I may be able to learn how to love myself the way that You love me.